Tired

2am. Sat watching Grey’s Anatomy again.

 Right now feels like every single thought I’ve ever had,particularly in recent years has entered my head. Nothing is leaving my head. 

I’m tired,yet my brain won’t let me sleep,when I get too tired anxieties reach up and tap me on the shoulder, embeds itself and makes a home. 

I hate this crap.I let things bother me far too much. The lack of backbone I have at times is weakening. 

I’ve lived through the death of my daughter, although it’ll never be over,yet I let stupid little things enter my head. Things,people who do not deserve my energy wasted on them.

I’m not perfect,my past isn’t perfect either, but I really am trying to better myself, I feel so good about what 2016 brought me. (I’ll review it shortly). Yet I continue to let school yard shit beat me. 

I’m better than that, I’m better to let the being left out in the cold bring me down. I am better than to let anyone make me feel less than perfect, not good enough to be around. 

I already beat myself with that regularly enough. 

I need to fight through this heavy feeling,because right now I feel like I’m drowning, I need air. Fresh new air. I need to not feel heavy.

I’m broken, but I’m not beaten..

The Wet Wipe Diaries.

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