It hasn’t been the romanticised fresh new beginning I’d have hoped for.  No bright eyed smiley back to school selfies, no annual walks in the mud. Kicking up muddy leaves, jumping in puddles.

Instead it has been the “Hacking” Cough (as named by the media), leaving me feeling and looking like shit. 

The cough that every body appears to have at the moment, the one which apparently can’t be treated,or at least I know I can’t take antibiotics due to feeding anyway. The one that’s lasting six weeks.  

I can’t bring the crap up further than my throat because because I’ve a phobia of being sick, which doesn’t help,  the hate I feel for my body being ill at the moment is crazy.  Since my last hyperemesis pregnancy I’ve been unable to cope mentally with being ill, even if it’s something as simple as a common cold.  I can’t bare it.  

The virus has really knocked me on my arse. Lucky my husband has the patience with me,even if I don’t have the patience for myself.  

 

Children went back to school. I’m that mum who is a shouty mum, but when it comes to end of holidays and the term beginning again, I’m not a fan.  I miss them, when they’re not at home.  I’m also not a glamorous “make up ready,  nice clothes” school run mum.  Throw on anything that’s clean, or hope it is.  Kids filed out the door after shouting ties, jumpers, shoes and coats for what feels like 50 million times.  Most of the time we don’t tend to forget items, for me that is an achievement to shout about. 

Just before the Christmas term my son, as with most Thursdays he takes left overs, usually pasta.  It’s helpful particularly if I’ve forgotten to top the bread up.  His lunch was placed in our old second fridge, it was normally placed in our “main”  fridge (only one fridge and one freezer now).  Only when I packed his lunch I grabbed the first sistema pot I came to, out the door we went.  Return home after food shopping to discover I’d actually sent him in a huge pot of tinned peaches, God knows how long they’d been in there (a week maybe).  His lovely lunch was indeed staring at me.  Luckily as I work at the school I know the feeding schedule! 

I’m far from a perfect mum. 

 The baby loss group I run started up again, although there wasn’t really a break as such, it is progressing.  Of course it’s a bad thing but also good people are seeking us to get support they deserve. I’m heading into shadow land, the time where I can remember dates, what happened on these dates, some dates are fading others are still a punch in the gut as much as the first few weeks. 

Time has healed bugger all.  She may have only been here 5 weeks but I don’t want to be “healed”  from her.  

Usual meet with a good friend of mine we’ve met weekly for almost 3 years now.  It’s lovely. 

 I braved food shop this week,  left me feeling weak and feeling like crap, but cabin fever is doing my head in. 

 I even grabbed some bargains for Christmas 2017.  Christmas jumpers at 49pence each for children and adult ones 99pence. Love Aldi shopping, we’ve saved so much since shopping there,  and we all like the food there.

I’ve a fair few bits in my Christmas stash already.  I did it through the year last year, and I really enjoyed it, meant that I could spread the cost over the year.  My husband finds it hilarious, I see it as organised.  
Part One of January complete.  Dull as shit I know.  But I’d like to get into the habit of writing.  

Hopefully this bloody cough would have moved out next week.  

There will definitely be a better part two, cough or no cough. 
Have a good week. 

The Wet Wipe Diaries