That’s it, February is now over, well as of midnight.
As many of you may know, I’m not the biggest fan of February.
The beginning was a little shit, with the lasting effects of the never-ending viral thing, we’d played tag team with. Finally reaching almost 8 weeks, it disappeared. Such a relief, I thought it would never go, still tire bit quicker; but February turned into quite an adventurous month.
Evening out with friends and parenting crazy children, just a few of the inclusions for February.
Managing a couple of outings with my closest friend, we’ve been adventuring for three years now. We never run out of ideas for what do, we have seen some repeats, but although it may be the same location, it is NEVER the same trip..
February Half Term saw us at Barrington Court, later in the week a little trip to Seaton.
These days have helped a little in the run up to what is always such a heavy time of the year for us.
The run up this year, we have been kept busy with a fundraising event, which I am sure if you have been reading you will know, I had spent some time publicising it. If you’d read Barn Dance Success, you’ll know we had a great time, and raised loads of money and awareness.
I do enjoy the organising of events, getting things ready etc, I of course help regularly with my children’s Majorette troupe. I had said several times that I do hate fundraising, which to be honest is a little untrue, it isn’t the organising, with a low esteem it is hard to miss the support, we can’t ignore the lack of acknowledgement of our girl, doing these events is our way (personally) of doing something as a whole family, you know. To include all of my children together, even when they’re not all here, most importantly to raise funds and group awareness. I let the negativity seep through all the positive in which we have achieved in this past year. I’m angry at myself for letting it.
We have had so many people say how proud they are of us, inspirational as her parents and as the Little Daffodil Team (can’t forget you guys), but we – I have focused on the missed words of encouragement, it is to put it bluntly, shit. This really is something I, we need to work on.
We have done amazingly in the years since our daughter died, we could have given up, but we didn’t, we had no choice. We carried on breathing, whether it through tears, or laughter we did. But we have wasted so much time on negative CRAP, this is something I know I need to work on.
To know having friends is not about the quantity of your circle, but the quality of how unbreakable a bond is.
The realisation that sometimes it is better to not get that invite or play date, and be alone than run the risk of being hurt over something that in the grand scheme of things is minuscule.
I deserve better. I just have to learn to accept that part.
Anyway I have drifted far too much..
Barn Dance, it was amazing. We raised just over £1700, one hell of a night, with many, many requests of another…
Curry night for us Daffs first I think…
Of course the day after we were met with Melody’s 5th Birthday, I have felt incredibly numb and cut off this year, I have had some tears. I go like this every now and again. Then the floods will come, it’ll hit me the same as it did five years ago. It is normal for me.
I still cannot believe it has been five years.
Final two days have been at home doing Barn Dance tying up.
And today has been Pancake Day, we had ours this evening.
How Do You Eat Yours?
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