I have been a Mother for almost 12 years, and I still cannot get used to being included in a day for Mother’s. I find it strange, I cannot explain it really, but it is a nice way to bring families together, and an excuse to receive the most adorable handmade gifts from your children.
As a daughter, it is also a strange day, I don’t have a great relationship with my own Mum. It isn’t something I can really talk about, it is difficult and actually painful, it is something I struggle with a lot. Having an imperfect relationship with a parent is often a taboo subject, all too often people who have amazing relationships with their parents do not truly understand the way people who don’t feel. It isn’t often an easy decision or road to take to have an inactive relationship with the people you are supposed to have a close relationship with. It is never that easy. Telling me that I only have one Mother/Father doesn’t help. It really doesn’t help. Because I know, I only have the one. But please remember, when those words slip from your mouth, that actually these parents, the on and only parents also only have one of me. I’m not replaceable either.. Things should be different.
Which of course brings me to having a Mother’s Day minus a child, knowing exactly how it feels to find out how irreplaceable a child is. I was lucky, if wanting the right word to have Mother’s Day with Melody, although the actual day itself I didn’t go in, I’d over done it, and there wasn’t much choice, I had a premature baby in hospital, there wasn’t much call for resting. I remember spending the day away from the hospital, making plans for the following year, how our lives would be different with an extra little one in the house. Of course I remain to this day wishing that I had ignored the nurses, ignored the advice I’d been given and spent the day with her, but I didn’t know that the following year I’d not only be a mother, a difficult daughter but also a bereaved mother.
Mother’s Day is different
It is mixed.
But the best bit for me, and I know there are many, many people who don’t get a best bit, is that I have the most amazing children, and awesome husband. They give me the most perfect Mother’s Day I could ever hope for. I get to be their Mum. Can’t ask for more than that.
The Wet Wipe Diaries