“You Can’t Have That”

In the Summer of 2015 when Calliope was about 6 weeks old, I took the decision to stop my dairy intake. She had pretty much screamed from the moment she arrived, and continued until roughly 5 months old. She had developed baby acne as little as 12 hours post birth, was sick after every feed (breastfed), belly ache, awful bouts of nappy rash and poos and of course the non-stop screaming.

 

Taking her to our GP, I was simply told that babies cry…

I chatted to some breastfeeding experts via online (online really can be a magical place), when I then took the Dairy Free route, within days her skin cleared up, she was still very much crying, but there was time of relax, she was beginning to differ, which was when I chose to get a second opinion, explained what had been happening, it was then agreed she wasn’t just “a crying baby”, we were referred to a dietitian. We also found things with wheat and gluten aggravated her, made her sick and the belly ache too.So  I eliminated that from my diet too. But this was temporary and just over a year old she seemed to be able to tolerate the new diet.

At 18 months old after failing the Milk Ladder at step two, we’re currently awaiting our next appointment with our dietitian.

That was the tiny background about our dairy free journey.

The thing that strikes me is the lack of tolerance (pardon the pun) people can have in regards to allergies and small children. (Although I presume it would be the same for adults). It certainly hasn’t been a life style choice, no swapping or changing like having no meat one month, and then 50 bacon sandwiches the next.

“Is she over that yet?” Repeatedly, that accompanied with the eye roll when you tell people that Soya, which was once an ok thing to have, is now a no, no.

“It is Christmas, one chocolate won’t hurt.”

Having to disappoint your 18 month old, as she sits and watches her siblings eat the Dairy Milk Selection box destined for her. “I’m sorry you can’t have that”.

You see, the cheese, the chocolate, the sip of milk will hurt her. The reactions can be unpredictable but at best the reactions comes out as a form of acne, or a stinky mucous nappy, that burns her. But then there is the awful tummy ache, the crying in pain that comes with it, the wheezy chest, the shortness of breath. It is miserable for her and is worrying for us as her parents to sit back and watch. As most of the time, we’re told to ride it out, there isn’t a lot else we can do, well at least we haven’t been told if there is anything else.

There have been questions as to whether my HG medication may have unsettled her tummy, which for me adds to the guilt of causing this for her, so if I need to be strict and come across rude, it is only because I need to protect her.

It has certainly been an eye opener, in particular how hard it has been, in coping. I remember shutting myself in the down stairs toilet crying, because she was crying in pain again, I felt useless, I felt to blame. For this is one reason I am very grateful to have had a baby carrier. It helped us both.

It isn’t just a case of not being able to have this or that, but what goes on behind the scenes the struggles parents have, the tears people don’t see behind closed doors.

We’re lucky to only have a couple of things which don’t agree with her.

Please remember if an allergen is a no, for every single day of the year, then it’ll be the same at Christmas. Think.

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(Taken back in the Summer).

 

We didn’t choose this, I hope one day she’ll grow out of it.

 

The Wet Wipe Diaries

 

 

 

Breastfeeding Gymnastics

I have been incredibly lucky with my breastfeeding journey.

It  began slowly at the start of my Motherhood journey, with my eldest being in Special Care for a week, our journey lasted only nine days, but it was still nine days. I had a two year with top up relationship, five week pumping journey, when our dear little girl was with us; once she died I was determined to make breastfeeding work with any baby who would come after her.

Her little sister fed until she was around 3 years old, I tandem-ed with our youngest, who is still going at 18 months, with no signs of stopping.

I’m not here to go all inspirational, tell you how breast is best and all that, because it isn’t that simple

I shall tell you a little something the books miss…

Boobie gymnastics.

Boogie Boobies.

Protective (double) Boobies.

All You Can Eat Boobies

What are these about??

My other children, especially the now 3 year old would cuddle in and be cosy for their feeds. I had, up until now with our youngest and last baby I assumed all of the above were normal. Sleepy cuddles, even more so as she’s our final baby.

Aside from her rocky start with dairy and wheat allergies (Wheat has been outgrown thankfully), she was that cuddly baby,(albeit very loud). Then she discovered limbs. Her legs and arms are hers and that they move. Flailing around as if she’s in the middle of a dance floor..except she isn’t.

She is busting a move, making the most peculiar bodily shapes, all whilst still attached to the breast. My breasts…nipple area have never been moved the way they have with the tiniest. Feet in my face, feet on my face, feet everywhere. Did you know Nipples are actually quite flexible?! Neither did I!

Heaven forbid if the 3 year old comes near them, she occasionally still likes skin contact, poor girl gets “attacked” by the littlest person. Whilst feeding from one. bubba needs to be holding onto the other, feet wrapped around it too..

For a moment, I can no longer see my beautiful little girl, but an Octopus. Hands pulling at my glasses,(why the glasses, every day?) to make me blind, an easy target. Fingers in my mouth, feet somehow entwined in my hair, my arms wrapped around her to ensure she doesn’t fall. I’m captured. She then slithers over to the other boob, in the hope there’s more, only for 30 seconds later she needs to return to the first boob. (This is often repeated).Exposed in the cold air, pinned under this tiny creature. She begins to settle, limbs begin to loosen their hold. I’m able to reach my glasses, returning them to my face I can now see the beautiful girl, sound asleep, tired and milk drunk. Dreaming of more..

Every day I question just how much longer I can do this for?

The fidgeting.

The round the clock hourly to two hourly feeds.

The bonding the feeding has helped me with.

The windy smile.

The bright eyes staring up at me from behind my breast.

My answer..

For a long as she wants it.

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The Wet Wipe Diaries