April Challenge #rhdmindfulness 

I am also hoping, if I can get organised enough to Vlog daily as an addition to my own in put. This is my first video, bear with me,

As I have said in my previous post, there is no competition, no right or wrong way of joining in. You can do them all, or just one. Share within your social media areas or keep private.

 

Day One Who AreYOU?

Apart from being a wife, a husband, or being a parent, or who ever your paid role brings.

Who are you as an individual? How would you describe yourself?

 

Day Two Something you avoid doing.

Are there situations that cause you bursts of anxiety? Things you wish you could do, but your brain, stops you. Things that could maybe cause triggers.

 

Day Three The Weather Today.

What is the weather like today where you are? How does it make you feel?  Do you have a favourite Season?

 

Day 4 Hope.

When everything doesn’t seem to go to plan, what gives you hope? What gets you up the next day? If you can’t get up what keeps you breathing?

 

Day 5 Get Creative

Maybe make use of a colouring book, you’ve yet to start, I know I have many that I’ll sit and do for ages, then I ignore them. I love the idea of them, and have a couple I’ve not even begun. Maybe you like the idea of them but haven’t purchased one yet. Write something, begin a blog, or continue a blog you have maybe been procrastinating against. Or put your procrastination to good use and make a vision board for yourself, (this doesn’t mean sitting and looking at hundreds on Pinterest!). Are there things you’d like to achieve? But fear continues to get in the way.

 

Day 6 Share something you are proud of.

Is it your children, or spouse? Maybe you have achieved something that you are super proud of, or overcome something that you thought would never happen.

 

Day 7 Retail Therapy

Set yourself a £5 budget to purchase something for yourself. Maybe using a Charity shop for an added “giving” bonus. Allow yourself to spoil yourself for a moment. You deserve more than you know.

 

Day 8 Gratitude

What are you thankful for right now? It could be absolutely anything, from something as small as finishing a hot cup of tea or something so much bigger. To someone else’s small, could be something really big to be grateful for.

 

Day 9 Cause

Spread awareness about a cause that is close to your heart, tell us more. There are so many small charities or organisations that they often get forgotten. Share a link with us too. Maybe donate (of course this is very optional, money isn’t always easy to give away).

 

Day 10 Find three good things about today.

Write them down, take a photo, these three things could end up making your day.

 

Day 11 What is bothering you?

Is there anything that we can help you with? Is there something you’re really worried about talking about? Often a problem shared can make them slightly gentler. We are all in this life together.

 

Day 12 Friendship

What does having friends mean to you? Do you have many? Or make them easy?

Is your village strong? And built to last?

 

Day 13 Sunrise

It doesn’t have to be today’s Sunrise, it could be either a sunrise of the day that changed you? A sunrise you’ve seen that you remember well, the sunrise which brought you new beginnings.

 

Day 14 Bake

Bake Cakes, cookies, or even something savoury.

When our daughter died it was the only thing I could do, baked hundreds of scones! Eat your creation. It is often known, that typical “British” Way, is that Tea and Sympathy, along with a slice of cake, or even a sandwich is meant to make the world a better place. Of course we all know life isn’t that simple – if only. But at least you’d have eaten something (hopefully) tasty today.

 

Day 15 Time with distant friends.

Set a time with a friend is not local, either via social media, or over the phone, maybe they’re a friend you have never met, it isn’t always that easy to leave the house particularly on bad days, so if you have distant friends, today have a cuppa and a chat with them, as if you were meeting in a local café, maybe even skype in a café. Today is not a day to feel alone.

 

 

Day 16 Go Outside

Take a walk, sit in the garden, breathe in the fresh air, either alone or include your family, take your dog for an extra-long walk.

Do you have a favourite outdoor location?

 

Day 17 Share Your Love

Who or what has your love? Is it Friends or Family? Support networks? Maybe the love of something that interests you has helped pull you through.

 

Day 18 Grounded

What helps you to come back down to level ground when you’re feeling anxious? It may not be a “thing” could be a person, or a place, which brings you comfort when life gets overwhelming.

 

Day 19 Quiet Time – Breathe

Find a time of day to just sit. Take in what surrounds you; maybe the only time is first thing in the morning or last thing at night in bed. Maybe set aside 20 minutes where no technology is involved. Savour the moment.

 

Day 20 Self Care

What do you do to take care of yourself?  This could be protecting yourself when you’re filled with anxieties. It could be a form of protection from being hurt. How do you cope with these things? Do you have an ideal comfort zone? Are you able to practice some self-care today?

 

Day 21. Wisdom

Is there any advice you could give to someone on a similar path to you? Has there been an important life lesson you wish you had been told?

 

Day 22 Sunset.

Again, not necessarily today’s Sunset, but maybe you can remember what the day was like when things in your life changed, either for good or for bad. Or quite simply a sunset, enjoy its beauty from the recently changed clocks (British Summertime).

 

Day 23 Nostalgia

Are there things that if you could go back and change you would? It could also be a favourite, happy memory.

 

 

Day 24 Beauty

What is surrounding you with beauty today? Do you have countryside nearby? Beautiful flowers, trees?

Are there buildings that you particularly love, which brings you fascination. You could even include people if you wished.

The world is such an ugly place, would be nice to spread some beauty about the place today.

 

Day 25 Dance It Out

Dance like nobody is watching!

You don’t have to share a video, but you certainly can if you wish. Maybe share your go to song, where your feet can’t stop, but makes you feel lighter after dancing it out.

 

Day 26 Sounds

What can you hear? It doesn’t have to be song birds or swaying trees. But at this moment in time what can you hear? Maybe close your eyes and concentrate. How do these sounds make you feel? Do you have a favourite sound? Or a sound that triggers lots of emotions.

 

Day 27 Rainbow

Most obviously this could be of an actual rainbow, but this will be depending on the weather, being April with all the showers, this may well be not as easy to take a photo of one today. Draw a picture. If you’re lucky enough to have a rainbow baby, maybe share your rainbow. Tell us what has given you light and colour amongst the darkest of times.

 

Day 28 Write A Letter

Write a letter to yourself in one years’ time, telling yourself how wonderful you are.

 

Day 29 Laugh.

Or at the very least smile. Can you remember the last time you laughed? Is there something making you smile/happy today?

 

Day 30 Positivity

Write something positive about yourself, WITHOUT the words “I think” at the beginning of the sentence.

 

 

Huge thank you for anyone who did join in or even just followed, as I said before I’ve never done anything like this before.

I do hope it has helped in some way, to give a little focus.

If you did enjoy this, please hit the follow button on my page, if this happens to be successful, I may do another.

 

Of course you can find me on Instagram @theredhead_diaries

 

And over on Facebook to The Red Head Diaries.

 

The Wet Wipe Diaries

 

 

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March – Procrastination

March is always a weird, limbo month ups and downs. Waiting for that next anniversary, the date we’d love to miss, then the date that should have been, dates which mean nothing to anyone else, but us who feel them, who feel lost and confused…

I’m in the process of writing about over on Melody and Me. 

Really excited to be also writing guest posts (two actually), I’m very thrilled to have been asked to do something for two very different articles, I hope to make them perfect.

Procrastination keeps finding me!

This is also very true in my week, I’ve so many things I want to get from brain to screen, but publications, the ideas getting out there scare the shit out of me, if I’m honest. I really do focus, as I have said many times, on the negatives.

What if people hate what I do?

Do I write too much?

Too many ramblings?

Boring!!

With so many authors, bloggers out there it is hard sometimes to get anything out there, this hold me back, and it shouldn’t. My love for writing was never meant to be for anyone else, blogging – publicizing, has just been an added bonus. I most definitely need to work on the confidence building, in word and in “real life”.

 

Quiet

 

These first five days have been reasonably calm, as I mentioned above the month is limbo month, with a bittersweet taste to add in to the mix, with our Special K’s birthday thrown in the mix too..but not quite yet.

This week saw World Book Day, well for three of them, the eldest doesn’t have it at her school. Shame.

Anna and Elsa (Of course, and I know I cheated with these costumes, but who am I to argue with a three year old and her just as argumentative one year old sister?)

My boy as Oliver Twist, he has been desperate to wear the braces to school for ages, so he decided Oliver Twist would be a reasonable option, we used cinnamon to dirty his face..

We tried!

Had I done some made from scratch type costume, well there isn’t a character out there that could match my crap efforts in costume making, the children probably wouldn’t have spoken to me for weeks!

No Alan Titchmarsh!

We have been in this house for nearly four years, we have been putting off doing our garden ever since. The previous occupants had left a burnt out oil drum, a 4×4 had driven into the front of our house at some point, there have been vehicle remains being uncovered on a regular basis. We were going to do “Project Garden”, many hands make light work etc, but it isn’t always easy to get people together at the same time. So being the most inexperienced gardeners you’ll probably ever likely to meet, we thought we’d give this revamp a start.

One end of our garden is dedicated to Melody, but I will show this more at a later date, we have almost finished, so will share once it s completed.

Made a start on revamping one of our patio sets, one of which will be placed in the end section, as it is the sunniest spot (when we have Sun) of the garden.

The paint is a lot brighter than I had imagined.

Then of course the rain came, will it ever stop?

Moving this bloody wet chair into our already overfilled garage (next job), in the hope to keep it dry.

Buying some turf was the next part, being low income we can only buy the turf and the gravel, a small amount at a time, first three strips of turf went down today.

Keep the bottom of the soil moist it said..Yep..I think the skies have perfected this today. I’m sure we have done it wrong, but it looks a damn sight better than the ash ridden, oil drum rubbish which was there earlier this morning.

 

Gravel will replace the tarpaulin, one day.

I have actually really enjoyed having a go at this with hubby, (even if I have pulled my shoulders) neither of us have the foggiest idea on what we are doing, it would seem to be a great stress reliever, we do have a long way to go, however we cannot wait until it is completed, and we can finally enjoy our garden.

Just want this weather to be better.

The Wet Wipe Diaries.

Barn Dance and Raffle Twenty

Final Barn Dance post, well until the follow up. I’m really looking forward to filling you in on how it went. Hopefully it’ll be good news! (Glass half empty kind of girl).

Here’s the other half of the prize list, I know I keep repeating myself, but we ARE really lucky to have collected so many. There are a couple in these collages that weren’t in the original viewings..yes we have even more, there are also a couple still to be collected tomorrow morning.

I cannot believe it is only tomorrow. Where has the time gone? Doesn’t seem like 5 minutes ago that we were going to cancel, (more like a month ago). Here we are.

We have raised so much awareness for Towards Tomorrow Together who support Little Daffodils, it has been wonderful to put a crack in the taboo, we really have only just scratched the service with how much we would like to change, particularly in the South West. This event will help fund what we’d like to achieve.

I have spent a lot of time speaking about Little Daffodils and what we do, who we are. So today in this final run up post I thought I would share the two babies behind the Little Daffodils’ Mamas. We’ve known each other since secondary school, but became really close after the birth of our babies who came after our losses..

It was October 2009 when Tracy and her family were met with the devastating words at a scan, that their baby’s heart had suddenly stopped. 

At 21 weeks Pregnant baby Beanie was born silently to Tracy, leaving the family heartbroken, departing the hospital empty handed, forever missing a little one. wp-1487886047105.png

I remember her story so well, much before my own. How sad I felt for her.

 

In February 2012 Julz became Mum to a micro preemie, born at just 26+6 because Mum was very poorly, weighing in at 670g she flew threw her early days with flying colours and was soon on the road to going home, with a discharge date all in hand. At 5 weeks old she contracted Sepsis in the NICU and sadly died on April 1st 2012. Never coming home. Leaving another family heartbroken. 

Melody

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I host another blog dedicated to her here

Thank you, these babies are so precious to us.

There are so many more families out there with similar stories, and some with not so similar but with the same outcome, that is missing babies.

We will help all we can locally to make sure noone is alone.

These are the final half of the prizes.

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Final round up.

Bell’s Whiskey

Sweet Bouquet

Body shop hamper

Perry’s Cider Voucher

Yeovil Town Football Club Tickets

Children’s Rainy Day Hamper

Silk Scarf

Evening Hangbag

Haynes Motor Museum Tickets

Angel Eyes Photography Vouchers

Wine

Mulled Wine

Thorntons

Sainsbury’s Voucher

Sarah Hodge Voucher

Chocolates

Trinket Box

Yeovil Railway Centre Ticket

Walk In Voucher

Fleet Air Arm Museum Voucher

Hair Inspirations Voucher

Pecorama Voucher

The Big Sheep Voucher.

These are some amazing prizes.

Cannot wait to see who wins, I hope they will be as pleased them as we have been obtaining them.

Raffle Tickets are now available just on the night, you have until 8pm to purchase WITH cash before we draw them.

Good Luck to Every One.

To everyone coming to the Barn Dance I will see you tomorrow night.

Thank you for purchasing tickets.

We will also be running a cake stall, with yummy homemade cakes some made by us including Dairy Free, also some donated by Tracy’s Mum, Julia and Gemma’s Mum Ros thank you Mums!

So once you’ve had your Ploughman’s (and hopefully won on the raffle), you can tuck into a delicious cake for pudding!

We’ll like to see all of these gone too..

Thank you to every one who has been reading and following.

See you on the other side..

The Wet Wipe Diaries

January Part One. 

It hasn’t been the romanticised fresh new beginning I’d have hoped for.  No bright eyed smiley back to school selfies, no annual walks in the mud. Kicking up muddy leaves, jumping in puddles.

Instead it has been the “Hacking” Cough (as named by the media), leaving me feeling and looking like shit. 

The cough that every body appears to have at the moment, the one which apparently can’t be treated,or at least I know I can’t take antibiotics due to feeding anyway. The one that’s lasting six weeks.  

I can’t bring the crap up further than my throat because because I’ve a phobia of being sick, which doesn’t help,  the hate I feel for my body being ill at the moment is crazy.  Since my last hyperemesis pregnancy I’ve been unable to cope mentally with being ill, even if it’s something as simple as a common cold.  I can’t bare it.  

The virus has really knocked me on my arse. Lucky my husband has the patience with me,even if I don’t have the patience for myself.  

 

Children went back to school. I’m that mum who is a shouty mum, but when it comes to end of holidays and the term beginning again, I’m not a fan.  I miss them, when they’re not at home.  I’m also not a glamorous “make up ready,  nice clothes” school run mum.  Throw on anything that’s clean, or hope it is.  Kids filed out the door after shouting ties, jumpers, shoes and coats for what feels like 50 million times.  Most of the time we don’t tend to forget items, for me that is an achievement to shout about. 

Just before the Christmas term my son, as with most Thursdays he takes left overs, usually pasta.  It’s helpful particularly if I’ve forgotten to top the bread up.  His lunch was placed in our old second fridge, it was normally placed in our “main”  fridge (only one fridge and one freezer now).  Only when I packed his lunch I grabbed the first sistema pot I came to, out the door we went.  Return home after food shopping to discover I’d actually sent him in a huge pot of tinned peaches, God knows how long they’d been in there (a week maybe).  His lovely lunch was indeed staring at me.  Luckily as I work at the school I know the feeding schedule! 

I’m far from a perfect mum. 

 The baby loss group I run started up again, although there wasn’t really a break as such, it is progressing.  Of course it’s a bad thing but also good people are seeking us to get support they deserve. I’m heading into shadow land, the time where I can remember dates, what happened on these dates, some dates are fading others are still a punch in the gut as much as the first few weeks. 

Time has healed bugger all.  She may have only been here 5 weeks but I don’t want to be “healed”  from her.  

Usual meet with a good friend of mine we’ve met weekly for almost 3 years now.  It’s lovely. 

 I braved food shop this week,  left me feeling weak and feeling like crap, but cabin fever is doing my head in. 

 I even grabbed some bargains for Christmas 2017.  Christmas jumpers at 49pence each for children and adult ones 99pence. Love Aldi shopping, we’ve saved so much since shopping there,  and we all like the food there.

I’ve a fair few bits in my Christmas stash already.  I did it through the year last year, and I really enjoyed it, meant that I could spread the cost over the year.  My husband finds it hilarious, I see it as organised.  
Part One of January complete.  Dull as shit I know.  But I’d like to get into the habit of writing.  

Hopefully this bloody cough would have moved out next week.  

There will definitely be a better part two, cough or no cough. 
Have a good week. 

The Wet Wipe Diaries 

New Year’s Resolutions

Same old shit, different year.

To loose weight.

To be kind to others.

To write more.

Be more organised.

Become a Domestic Goddess.

Well, let’s face it, the turn of the year isn’t going to change me, although I wish it would.

By the end of January I usually fail miserably at one or all of the endless lists of resolutions.

Of course I would love to lose weight, but then when I feel like shit I eat, crisps mainly..chocolate is out due to having a CMPA daughter, who I am still breastfeeding. And have you tried the dairy free stuff? Definitely not Cadbury’s I can tell you.

I even say to myself, I won’t make any resolutions this year, but surely that is a resolution itself, I fail at that too.

The writing more is the one I really would like to succeed in, I have so many ideas in my head, note pads full of ideas, I really need to put together and make something of them.

Whose idea was it to make resolutions, and to think they work?

Maybe I am the only one who fails at them.

What is your New Year’s Resolutions? Do you stick to them?

If so, How do you keep to yours?

Off to dust off the Jillian Michaels DVD…

At least the cleaning part can be ticked off the list.

 

 

 

“You Can’t Have That”

In the Summer of 2015 when Calliope was about 6 weeks old, I took the decision to stop my dairy intake. She had pretty much screamed from the moment she arrived, and continued until roughly 5 months old. She had developed baby acne as little as 12 hours post birth, was sick after every feed (breastfed), belly ache, awful bouts of nappy rash and poos and of course the non-stop screaming.

 

Taking her to our GP, I was simply told that babies cry…

I chatted to some breastfeeding experts via online (online really can be a magical place), when I then took the Dairy Free route, within days her skin cleared up, she was still very much crying, but there was time of relax, she was beginning to differ, which was when I chose to get a second opinion, explained what had been happening, it was then agreed she wasn’t just “a crying baby”, we were referred to a dietitian. We also found things with wheat and gluten aggravated her, made her sick and the belly ache too.So  I eliminated that from my diet too. But this was temporary and just over a year old she seemed to be able to tolerate the new diet.

At 18 months old after failing the Milk Ladder at step two, we’re currently awaiting our next appointment with our dietitian.

That was the tiny background about our dairy free journey.

The thing that strikes me is the lack of tolerance (pardon the pun) people can have in regards to allergies and small children. (Although I presume it would be the same for adults). It certainly hasn’t been a life style choice, no swapping or changing like having no meat one month, and then 50 bacon sandwiches the next.

“Is she over that yet?” Repeatedly, that accompanied with the eye roll when you tell people that Soya, which was once an ok thing to have, is now a no, no.

“It is Christmas, one chocolate won’t hurt.”

Having to disappoint your 18 month old, as she sits and watches her siblings eat the Dairy Milk Selection box destined for her. “I’m sorry you can’t have that”.

You see, the cheese, the chocolate, the sip of milk will hurt her. The reactions can be unpredictable but at best the reactions comes out as a form of acne, or a stinky mucous nappy, that burns her. But then there is the awful tummy ache, the crying in pain that comes with it, the wheezy chest, the shortness of breath. It is miserable for her and is worrying for us as her parents to sit back and watch. As most of the time, we’re told to ride it out, there isn’t a lot else we can do, well at least we haven’t been told if there is anything else.

There have been questions as to whether my HG medication may have unsettled her tummy, which for me adds to the guilt of causing this for her, so if I need to be strict and come across rude, it is only because I need to protect her.

It has certainly been an eye opener, in particular how hard it has been, in coping. I remember shutting myself in the down stairs toilet crying, because she was crying in pain again, I felt useless, I felt to blame. For this is one reason I am very grateful to have had a baby carrier. It helped us both.

It isn’t just a case of not being able to have this or that, but what goes on behind the scenes the struggles parents have, the tears people don’t see behind closed doors.

We’re lucky to only have a couple of things which don’t agree with her.

Please remember if an allergen is a no, for every single day of the year, then it’ll be the same at Christmas. Think.

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(Taken back in the Summer).

 

We didn’t choose this, I hope one day she’ll grow out of it.

 

The Wet Wipe Diaries

 

 

 

Breastfeeding Gymnastics

I have been incredibly lucky with my breastfeeding journey.

It  began slowly at the start of my Motherhood journey, with my eldest being in Special Care for a week, our journey lasted only nine days, but it was still nine days. I had a two year with top up relationship, five week pumping journey, when our dear little girl was with us; once she died I was determined to make breastfeeding work with any baby who would come after her.

Her little sister fed until she was around 3 years old, I tandem-ed with our youngest, who is still going at 18 months, with no signs of stopping.

I’m not here to go all inspirational, tell you how breast is best and all that, because it isn’t that simple

I shall tell you a little something the books miss…

Boobie gymnastics.

Boogie Boobies.

Protective (double) Boobies.

All You Can Eat Boobies

What are these about??

My other children, especially the now 3 year old would cuddle in and be cosy for their feeds. I had, up until now with our youngest and last baby I assumed all of the above were normal. Sleepy cuddles, even more so as she’s our final baby.

Aside from her rocky start with dairy and wheat allergies (Wheat has been outgrown thankfully), she was that cuddly baby,(albeit very loud). Then she discovered limbs. Her legs and arms are hers and that they move. Flailing around as if she’s in the middle of a dance floor..except she isn’t.

She is busting a move, making the most peculiar bodily shapes, all whilst still attached to the breast. My breasts…nipple area have never been moved the way they have with the tiniest. Feet in my face, feet on my face, feet everywhere. Did you know Nipples are actually quite flexible?! Neither did I!

Heaven forbid if the 3 year old comes near them, she occasionally still likes skin contact, poor girl gets “attacked” by the littlest person. Whilst feeding from one. bubba needs to be holding onto the other, feet wrapped around it too..

For a moment, I can no longer see my beautiful little girl, but an Octopus. Hands pulling at my glasses,(why the glasses, every day?) to make me blind, an easy target. Fingers in my mouth, feet somehow entwined in my hair, my arms wrapped around her to ensure she doesn’t fall. I’m captured. She then slithers over to the other boob, in the hope there’s more, only for 30 seconds later she needs to return to the first boob. (This is often repeated).Exposed in the cold air, pinned under this tiny creature. She begins to settle, limbs begin to loosen their hold. I’m able to reach my glasses, returning them to my face I can now see the beautiful girl, sound asleep, tired and milk drunk. Dreaming of more..

Every day I question just how much longer I can do this for?

The fidgeting.

The round the clock hourly to two hourly feeds.

The bonding the feeding has helped me with.

The windy smile.

The bright eyes staring up at me from behind my breast.

My answer..

For a long as she wants it.

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The Wet Wipe Diaries

New To You

I was originally with WordPress, almost three years ago I found a moment in my life where I needed to move on, which I have found the perfect place for the blog I use to speak of my bereavement, but I’ve never really been overly happy with my “every day” blog. With so much competition out there, I kind of started to scrape the barrel for things to write down.

That can’t do, because writing is one of my favourite things; it has been right from being a child, as I hit adulthood, it was deemed ‘boring’ or something to use to make fun of me. If I felt troubled one of the first things I would have done would have been to pick up a pen an doodle, of course this is how my blogging journey began in the first place was my awful pregnancy with Melody..a self published book, and a Butterfly Award Nomination later, I can’t be that shit.

I won’t be full pelt blogging until after Christmas, it is family time, I’d like to plan and schedule some posts too.

Once the New Year arrives, new year, new start and that rubbish.

So there we have it.

Fresh new post

 

The Wet Wipe Diaries

xx